prompt #1

I had known for a while I would be required to volunteer in a Providence public school, but no one told me what I was in for. After receiving my placement through VIPS I was happy to see I recognized the school, I’ve driven by it a million times while going to my friends house. What I wasn’t happy to see is that it was located on what many call “the worst street in the best part of town.” Being in a semi-good neighborhood has to mean something though, right?

I was nervous for my first tutoring session; I’m not ashamed to admit that. I had never been in a public elementary school in my life, never mind one in Providence. I went through enough years of Catholic school to be somewhat narrow minded about what I would encounter. I was reminded of the kids in Kahne and Westheimer’s article “In Service of What?” The volunteers and their families were nervous about going to a lower class school. They had imagined the students to be “horrifying children running around on a dirty campus” and “rude, tough, and very unfriendly.” When the volunteers finally went to the school, however, they saw that the children were nothing like that. They were polite and had excellent behavior.. Maybe things would work out the same for me?

I drove around for a good ten minutes, confused by one way streets and no parking signs, before finding a place to park. Finding the main entrance was a whole different matter, there were so many doors! The building was large and brick and as I walked around it looking for a way in, I wondered if it was too late to back out. No, I needed to do this, it was important.

I finally ran into some other people, one of which was the principle, and they took me inside. I went into the office to put my sign in sheet away and was sent to the cafeteria. I should mention, I wasn’t in a regular classroom, I was in an after school program. The director of the program was supposedly in the cafeteria, so off I went, with no idea where it was located. When I finally managed to get there I was immediately kicked out. A different after school program meets in there; I had to go find the director in the gym. After locating the gym on my own once again I was informed she wasn’t in there, but to try upstairs, she was probably making rounds. By this point I was fed up. I had never been to this school before and yet no one had enough common sense to realize I didn’t know my way around it? Or even what the director looked like?! I was wandering around aimlessly, when a young girl who couldn’t be much older than myself asked if I needed help. I glanced at her name tag, she was just who I was looking for. Dear god.

She was nice, even if I was questioning her qualifications in the back of my mind, and even asked if I had a preferred grade. I said no, so she led me to a 4th grade classroom. I had actually thought that would be the perfect grade to teach, so I was pleased. Walking, in however, that gave me an entirely different feeling.

The addition of me to the room didn’t catch the attention of a single student. They were too busy carrying out the complete anarchy of the classroom. They were wild and uncontrollable as the teacher yelled over them. She managed to get them in seats and tried to lecture them about the rules of the class when a girl sighed loudly and said “booooring.” I was appalled. I had worked with campers all summer that were the same age group, none of them would even think to talk to me this way. There were a few students sitting in the back quickly trying to finish homework. It seemed promising that there were a few behaved students, but as quickly as I could think it, the teacher yelled at them and told them to put their work away. What on earth were they teaching them here? One of the students had finally noticed my arrival and grabbed my hand under the pretenses of leading me to his seat. What really happened though was him trying to slip my ring right off my finger. My jaw dropped. Had a 9 year old just really tried to steal my ring?

I sat in the back of the classroom for the remainder of my session. I didn’t say a word, I just watched. When I finally made it back to my car I broke down in tears. I cried all the way home. I couldn’t believe the system I was just thrown into. 13.5 more hours seemed impossible.